The other day i mentioned to someone that My kids really missed Hadley when she wasn't here, Hadley is my boyfriends 10 year old daughter and he gets her every other weekend. I'm not naming any names here but the other person said to me "that is so weird, i don't think i would miss my boyfriends daughter i think i would like having just MY kids around i mean it would feel intrusive like if i have a routine with my own kids then have to change it up for someone Else's kid would really bother me, i could never be with someone who already had kids with someone else" So i sat for awhile after that trying to find the punch line in it and when i couldn't i felt really bad for that other person. I felt bad because maybe they don't have an open heart, maybe they only feel that way because they don't know the joy a "bonus kid can bring" I mean i didn't have to carry her for 9 months, i didn't have to give birth to her i didn't have to spend sleepless nights caring for her as a newborn but i have respect for the woman that did because i know about those days from my own two kids and i thank her for raising an amazing young lady.
The first year with Hadley was hard i was trying to do everything i could to make sure she liked me and be sure i didn't step on any ones toes, As a mother to a son who has a stepmother i know what it's like to worry about how this other woman is treating your kid. So i know it's not really my place to "mother" Hadley i can be her friend and i can look out for her and want whats best for her, that's all i can rightfully offer. At first i would tell my boyfriend i love her because i love you, but that is not true as these years have flown by i can say that i love her because of who she is, she is the best big sister i could have ever asked for my kids.
When i was pregnant with my daughter i was worried Hadley would be jealous, she was the only girl "daddy's little girl" and i didn't want her to feel like this new little person would take her place. Even though Hadley wanted a little sister so badly she even made me a card before we found out the sex of our baby that said "It's a girl" That card is now in my daughter's baby box. When my daughter was born i was so surprised by Hadley the second she walked in the door and saw her little sister for the first time it was love. She wanted to be around her all the time she wanted to help take care of her, she wanted to take her home with her lol.
My son who drives her up the wall every chance he gets mentioned that he wished she were here so she would jump on the trampoline with him, i said well when she is here you two fight sometimes" and he said "but mom she is my best friend" and that she is, in my sons journal from school there was a picture of him and his best friend playing with cars and under the picture it said "me and Hadley". So i thought what if i were like that other person who said they could never be with someone who already had a child, my son wouldn't have a best friend, my daughter wouldn't have her big sister and i wouldn't have someone who likes the same reality shows that i do during the summer. I know that seems silly i mean she is only 10 so maybe that means she is wise beyond her years OR that i need to change my taste in TV shows lol!
She is growing up, she is into boys now and texts on her phone and gets annoyed when i bug her about it. I know that someday my own daughter will go through those changes and it will break my heart just like it breaks a little piece of my heart now with Hadley because it doesn't stop all kids grow up and it goes by so fast. It pains me to see them growing up so fast but it would kill me if they didn't get the chance to. So i count my blessings and I'm thankful for all the screaming matches, for all the rolled eyes, for all the doors slammed, for all the huffing and puffing when i tell them to clean their rooms/ change their clothes/ share a toy/ and go to bed.
I fully expect for Hadley to be horrified at this post and it just makes me want to publish it even faster :-)
So I'll leave you with this.......... "While we try to teach Children all about life, Children teach us what life is all about"
The first year with Hadley was hard i was trying to do everything i could to make sure she liked me and be sure i didn't step on any ones toes, As a mother to a son who has a stepmother i know what it's like to worry about how this other woman is treating your kid. So i know it's not really my place to "mother" Hadley i can be her friend and i can look out for her and want whats best for her, that's all i can rightfully offer. At first i would tell my boyfriend i love her because i love you, but that is not true as these years have flown by i can say that i love her because of who she is, she is the best big sister i could have ever asked for my kids.
When i was pregnant with my daughter i was worried Hadley would be jealous, she was the only girl "daddy's little girl" and i didn't want her to feel like this new little person would take her place. Even though Hadley wanted a little sister so badly she even made me a card before we found out the sex of our baby that said "It's a girl" That card is now in my daughter's baby box. When my daughter was born i was so surprised by Hadley the second she walked in the door and saw her little sister for the first time it was love. She wanted to be around her all the time she wanted to help take care of her, she wanted to take her home with her lol.
My son who drives her up the wall every chance he gets mentioned that he wished she were here so she would jump on the trampoline with him, i said well when she is here you two fight sometimes" and he said "but mom she is my best friend" and that she is, in my sons journal from school there was a picture of him and his best friend playing with cars and under the picture it said "me and Hadley". So i thought what if i were like that other person who said they could never be with someone who already had a child, my son wouldn't have a best friend, my daughter wouldn't have her big sister and i wouldn't have someone who likes the same reality shows that i do during the summer. I know that seems silly i mean she is only 10 so maybe that means she is wise beyond her years OR that i need to change my taste in TV shows lol!
She is growing up, she is into boys now and texts on her phone and gets annoyed when i bug her about it. I know that someday my own daughter will go through those changes and it will break my heart just like it breaks a little piece of my heart now with Hadley because it doesn't stop all kids grow up and it goes by so fast. It pains me to see them growing up so fast but it would kill me if they didn't get the chance to. So i count my blessings and I'm thankful for all the screaming matches, for all the rolled eyes, for all the doors slammed, for all the huffing and puffing when i tell them to clean their rooms/ change their clothes/ share a toy/ and go to bed.
I fully expect for Hadley to be horrified at this post and it just makes me want to publish it even faster :-)
So I'll leave you with this.......... "While we try to teach Children all about life, Children teach us what life is all about"
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